The following excerpts are from an article published in the Salt Lake Tribune on February 24th, 2008:
Initially, Mary Danzig thought it was all a big misunderstanding. But soon, her own devotion to the church came into question. She, too, felt unwelcome in the orchestra. Her parents wrote letters to church authorities, begging for an audience or at least some understanding. They were unsuccessful.
“I felt like my world had come crashing down when Peter told me he might be excommunicated,” said Mary Danzig, at the time a member of the Primary Presidency in her ward.
“What would happen to my family in the eternities, in our community, in our extended family? I found myself coming completely unglued every Sunday. I spent a great deal of time hiding in the bathroom crying with my little girls.”
To listen to a podcast featuring Mary and Peter Danzig, please follow these links:
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
You can visit the website for Mary and Peter’s band “Otter Creek” by clicking here.
Mary
when I first heard your story 2 years ago, I was so very impressed by your sense of rightness. I said “yes!!” to your decision to stand by your “man”. You did not stand by and join the others in deeming him “unworthy” and that says volumes about the woman you are and the great love that you both have for each other. Not even the church could break that bond. Kudos to the both of you.
Michelle
I can’t imagine having to pass through what you did. It reminds me of Abraham who was commanded to literally kill his son on the altar, which would have called all of his prior teachings and commandments into question. I can’t imagine the internal struggle he must have gone through and the questioning he must have done. I don’t have all the answers, but if you give up on the beliefs that you once held dear, you will never have put them to the test. I don’t think we can really decide for ourselves when we have waited long enough or when the test of our faith should be over. It is undoubtedly true that your faith was tested; but how can you know that that test is over? I sincerely hope that you will at least keep the lines of communication open between you and your creator, and that you will seek his guidance in all that you do no matter how difficult it may seem or how contrary to your prior understanding it may be.
In 1998-1999 I was a Freshman music major at the University of Utah. I remember a very good violinist, and a very kind person, and a few witty pieces of advice that I still get the opportunity to quote now and again.
Anyway, the point is that I respected you then, and I respect you even more now. I too have left the Mormon church (though, with me, it was much less of a big deal since I was hardly one of the model faithful to begin with…). I wish you well and happy in your life.
You’re talented and a sweetie.
I’m guessing you weren’t thinking your husband could stay on the church payroll after taking a public stand in support of any type of sexual deviance, which goes against the religious teachings in any Jewish, Christian, and even Muslim denomination. So, if promoting sexual deviance or promoting a new definition for the religious institution of marriage is the most important thing for you, to your credit you gave up your culture to follow your conscious. Or maybe you did it to keep peace with your husband. Either one is your perogative, and no one would blame you for the second.
I think that watershed moment illuminated for you that your activity in the church, like that of many Utahns, was based more on culture and social ties than on understanding and adhering to the doctrine.
One day come back and take a look at the doctrine. It’s rock solid, and it brings it’s own kind of liberation and self-assurance. If you can understand what I mean. Meanwhile, keep on with the fiddle!