“My name is Micah and I’m an enthusiast of truth.”
My exit from Mormonism unknowingly started in early 2008 with a deepened desire to have my calling and election made sure for myself and my wife, and our place in the New Jerusalem assured for Christ’s second coming. That all began with much fasting and prayer in February, and openness to the guidance of the Holy Ghost. During this spiritual journey, I never read anything online or elsewhere related to Mormonism or that would be considered “anti” material etc. What I did read and follow were philosophies and spiritual works that gave me the warm promptings and confirmation feelings associated with the Holy Ghost and a few months down the road, to the conclusion that all religions together were failing to unite the human family into a single peaceful society.
This epiphany (or “revelation” in religious terms) occurred on May 28th, 2008 and was the last day I considered myself Mormon or religiously affiliated. When this understanding dawned on me I felt the most exhilarating, freeing, and euphoric peace and freedom I have ever experienced. I had been freed from the dogma and closed minded thinking from my past indoctrination and upbringing, and awakened to the true nature, potential and beauty of humanity and creation. This experience was equal to or in excess of any spiritual confirmations or experiences I had on my mission and in Mormonism, of which I had many. During all of this time of searching I continued to read my Book of Mormon every morning, sincerely pray multiple times daily, fast, attend the temple, bare testimony and purify my life according to LDS teachings.
A couple weeks later I had another such epiphany that directed me to investigate why Mormonism in particular was not uniting humanity, but also deceptive and untruthful in its own right. It didn’t take much searching online in today’s information age to find many confirmable sources and events from Mormon origins and history that leave little trust in the watered down version of LDS church history as taught in Gospel Doctrine classes and a lot of doubt as to the LDS church’s claims of being God’s one and only true and authorized church. It was at this point that I introduced what I found to my wife who then began her own heart breaking awakening to the illusion and eventual disaffection with Mormonism.
I realize now that what lead me out were literary materials that appealed to my own biases based first in Mormonism and second in divine guidance, and are neither unbiased nor verifiable in their own right. However, this realization is just further evidence of our human weakness to be guided or mislead by our psychological biases, programming and conditioning, and that the spiritual experiences had by those in Mormonism are very similar to what others experience in all religions, whether Jehovah’s Witnesses, Catholic, Christian, Muslim, Buddhism and most others. Our experiences are all functions and illusions of our own minds, verifiable by many psychological studies and human behavior science experts, perhaps mounting the greatest argument against religious spiritualism, second only to the unique deceptions, lies and facts of each individual creed.
You may take this how you will. I have no desire to lead anyone out of Mormonism or any religion who honestly finds that particular creed fulfilling and meaningful. If that faith works for you and gives you the purpose and fulfillment you desire out of life, congratulations and more power to you, so long as you don’t enforce your beliefs on those who aren’t of your faith.
I now see life in a much less judgmental and mostly impartial manner, which has opened my eyes to the beautiful diversity, individuality and interconnectedness of humanity and nature. I no longer feel that I have to convert the world to my way of thinking, and instead appreciate the individual perspectives and experiences we all have. I no longer recognize a right or wrong way to live, just your way and what works for us individually to bring us purpose, fulfillment and joy, much as the Dalai Lama says: “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.”
Micah suggests these helpful Links in Studying Mormonism:
Books on Mormonism: