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Christopher Lane Davis

Christopher Davis – My LDS Journey


My name is Christopher and I grew up LDS. For the first 12 years of my life, it was truly beautiful. I found it to be, for the most part, uplifting and inspiring. I still get teary eyed when I hear or sing songs like “I’m Trying to Be Like Jesus” because I am grateful for the feelings of love and compassion and general goodness that were instilled into me as a child. I do not regret a moment of being in the church. If I could go back in time and change it, I would not. I believe that I have always been exactly where I need to be, and that along the path I have learned important lessons that will further serve me where I am headed.

However, as Carl Jung said, “Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.”

I state in my video that being gay turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. It sparked within me a deep desire for truth, and a yearning to love myself where before I had placed judgement. Although it was definitely the initial catalyst, my love and attraction for other men was far from the only reason that I left the church. Over the years since I began to leave the church, I have learned many other things about this magical life that have served me well, the most important of which, is that which I was told to worship outside of myself, actually lies within me, and that it was a lack of recognizing and loving that part of myself that caused me such pain.

I discovered that the greatest thing I could do for myself to heal the pain that I had accumulated along the path was to reprogram the indoctrination that I had been brainwashed into, whether intentionally (religion) or by default (things I learned from parental behavior). It was these faulty belief systems that were causing such pain. I learned that I could reprogram my own mind, and that I could replace self hatred with love. The more I intentionally decided to love myself unconditionally, the more I loved everyone and everything else around me, and life has been a spectacular unravelling of things I never knew to be possible as a child ever since.

The ideals I have learned have changed my life from a seemingly endless abyss of depression and suffering (I’m not being dramatic, my pain was that deep) to such an exciting, uplifting celebration of joy and appreciation in such a profound way that I have intended my purpose in life to be to share what I have learned with others, primarily through my music. My dream is to bring to as many people as possible, through my music, the idea that when you truly begin to love yourself, miracles happen in your life, and that you are way more powerful than you have been led to believe.

As far as the church and almost all religion in general, I believe it is a lie. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. A overall huge detriment to society with greater setbacks than benefits. However, I also believe it’s not my job to convince anyone of this. Just as it served me at one point in my life, I believe it serves others where they are on their path as well. We each have a compass inside of us that guides us where we need to be, and I have learned that change really only comes from within one’s personal desires. I still believe the church will fall apart sooner than later as more people begin to question that unfulfilled part of thier soul that they can’t quite put their finger on. That part of you that realizes. You ARE God.

I so look forward to the direction our planet is headed. I do not believe for a second that we are headed towards an apocalyptic display of global entropy. I believe that things are improving exponentially in many different ways, and that people will continue to come into their own power, and instead of making decisions based on fear, following the love and excitement within that will help us all create here and now, the heaven we have been seeking.


Christopher’s recommended videos to check out:

Science Saved My Soul

Through These Godless Eyes

You Can Heal Your Life

My Music Channel



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February 4th, 2015 at 1:29 pm

Christopher, I enjoyed your comments. I admire your courage and so glad that you chose to live.

Lech Rogalski
April 10th, 2016 at 12:10 pm

I am a fresh un-convert from Poland, Europe. I chose to live today and today was my coming out. God bless my fellow Ex-Ms. If you wish to drop me a message and exchange ideas, you are welcome to do so.

Rekah Levah
May 14th, 2016 at 9:02 am

I was literally caged at Cross Creek manor from 1989-1990.
I had an old story, now I have a new one!
Something incredible about our life is that there are no denominations or
divisions that might alter how our culture is expressed in all the
different locations all over the world. Our brothers and sisters in
Brazil might eat differently than us and speak Portuguese, but they keep
the same traditions as those of us in the US, in France, the Czech
Republic, Australia, and even the budding in community in Japan. It’s
not motivated out of principle or doctrine, like I experienced in the
LDS church. We are representing the same love in all
communities, living the same life, so that people might know that we are
ONE, not because of some mystical concept but because of what they see.
When I came here I was like ripe fruit coming off the vine, ready
to give myself to whatever might cause me to love more freely than
ever before. We think that’s what human beings were made for, and my
hope is you’ll come and see. In all, I hope your hearts desires are given to you. May our paths cross again –

Love loves and people change ~


March 23rd, 2015 at 5:09 am

Thank you Christopher. I am grateful for my experience in the church, the sound values it has instilled in my son and how it gave me the strength to survive and recover fairly quickly from my broken marriage. However, I have always struggled to reconcile the church’s stand on homosexuality and avoided my gay friends because it was just too hard for me to get my head around the conflict. I have since become inactive and am living as close to an authentic life as possible. I feel totally liberated and loved – but most importantly found self-love and self-acceptance. Ironically, I feel closer to God for this and feel him on my side guiding me on the journey I still believe he has for me. Thank you so much for sharing.

March 27th, 2015 at 3:26 pm

Love this website and to Christopher, Amen Brother, Amen! Live the life you were meant to live…. feel the love that is in your heart, the kind that lets you GROW as a human being. The rest?…………. Let It Go!…BTW: You seem pretty perfect just the way you are!

June 29th, 2015 at 11:38 am

Hey. I just wanted to say I always wanted to join the church and have loved it for so many years. It was the only church I ever felt loved and appreciated and accepted in. I felt at home. Yesterday I told my elders to no longer waste there time with me and I will not be baptized because I still am my own person and believe in principle and whats right meaning being a straight male I strongly support the supreme court decision that you and now everyone have the equal right of marriage and I will not subit myself to a church that promotes any kind of bigotry. I love you as a brother in christ because no matter what these church’s teach I believe Christ is love and I’m a proud supporter of your rights. May God bless you.

September 18th, 2015 at 3:34 am

“Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are.”

May 31st, 2016 at 6:03 pm
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June 4th, 2016 at 1:35 am

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June 10th, 2016 at 4:06 pm

That is sad that you are leaving. You should know that while your same sex attraction is a real thing, that Gay Sex is completely non-scientific, fulfills no procreative purpose, and is dangerous to the Anus. Gay Sex is not ordained or sanctioned by God. It is completely wrong. Same sex attraction does not need to lead in the direction of sexual expresssion and doing things physically. That is Sin, and it’s unnatural, and not good for your body, and well, good luck.

The Seafairy
June 25th, 2016 at 7:53 am

So you’re saying he go through life without sharing sexual expression with others? Are you someone who also has to go through life without this? Don’t even try to give me that, God has a plan for different kinds of people and if he commits himself to God it’ll be okay. This person has directly showed his experience about trying to commit himself to God and not engaging in these activities and he almost killed himself because of it. Great advice, jeff.

August 3rd, 2016 at 2:09 pm

My comment above is intended for Jeff. Sorry for the mistake.

August 3rd, 2016 at 2:06 pm

Homosexuality is about the strong attraction of people to those who have the same gender. This attraction moves from attraction to commitments of Love in exactly the same way as with Heterosexuals. I have been in love with and committed to a man since 1986. I could never feel whole without him. I love him as deeply as I can imagine loving someone. I hope you have that same relationship has I have. I have never engaged in anal sex, nor has he, and I know that we are hardly unique in this regard. On the other hand, I have known hetero acquaintances who have engaged in anal sex with female partners. I was born in Vernal, Utah to descendants of those who pushed handcarts to Salt Lake City with Brigham Young. I was raised in the church and went on a mission to England. The Church said I was going to hell and I said to myself: This love cannot be wrong, its what lifts me up and makes life so much more fulfilling. I know many young Mormons have lived lives of depression, have been disowned and thrown from their homes or have committed suicide as a consequence of the Church’s condemnation of them over something they have no control over whatsoever. I saw it, I condemned the Church for destroying peoples lives, I left the Church and never looked back. Paraphrasing Martin Luther King: Free at last, free at last, Lord God Almighty, I am free at last.

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