If you want to be in a video, please keep in mind the following:
-We want to highlight personal struggles and success about your exit story from Mormonism.
-We are not trying to focus on doctrinal issues, although we will not shy away from them if you feel it is important to your story.
-We want our videos to avoid the tone “this is why the church isn’t true” but rather “this was my experience and this is what I struggled with”.
-We want to highlight areas that many Ex Mormons struggle with during their transition out of the church. Divorce, shunning, loneliness, fear etc. How did you deal with these things?
-What have you gained from leaving the church? What advice do you have for others going through this transition? We want to give hope to those who might feel there is no joy in life after Mormonism.
-We want our videos to help Mormons avoid stereotyping “Ex Mormons” and we want to provide strength and support to those exiting the church or just beginning to have doubts.
We will update this page with more details- in the mean time please feel free to contact us here if you are interested in participating!
I would be interested in investigating the possibility of making “I am an ex-mormon” video. I live in Cedar City, Utah which is close to I-15 and two hours south of Provo.
Thank you
Peggy
Hi! Am from Mexico, live in cancun area… I would love to participate making an “I am en exmormon” video. I don’t think you will ever be coming down to Mexico so I would love to know how could I make my own video and maybe send it to you…
Thank you.
Amauri
If you are ever in Scotland, I’m in.
Nathan, I served my mission in Scotland from 2001-2003. Do I know you? Where in Scotland do you live?
Nathan?
I love this series! Contrary to popular Mormon thought, ex-Mormons are most often at peace living authentic and meaningful lives. This is definitely the case for me! It brings me joy to see other ex-Mormons finding the same happiness that I’ve found!
-Kate
If you guys want help filming or editing, I live in Boise. More than happy to provide my services.. I have a boom & a really nice mic. I just created my own “I’m an Ex-Mormon” video, publishing it on YouTube and Facebook tonight, so watch for it! Thanks for the inspiration. -Eric
I just watched your video! So awesome, I loved it! Great work!
Hi Dan –
I think you just replied to my inquiry, but your email went to my spam folder and I only realized it was from you literally just after clicking the “Delete Forever” button in gmail. Would you mind sending me another reply?
Dan,
I can’t tell you how impressed I am with this site … first, for the content and production value, and second, for the courage. So, I’m frustrated that I can’t find anything about the people behind it.
Maybe you don’t want it to be known. But, if not, I’d love to know. I’d also like to invite them to be a guest on my audio podcast: The Marketing Show.
I watched it when it first was released Eric; great job – welcome to the real world.
If you are ever in Upstate New York or near Montreal / Ottawa / Kinston — I could meet anywhere, Would love to help, would love to share. I left the Mormon Church while at BYU, worked at the Archives at BYU, — scary, — but that’s not the main story, my story, and I can write more, if you are interested, is about the isolation of leaving, the struggle to own my body and sexuality after years of indoctrination, to wrestle my feelings of fear of being who I am, the all too common reaction of my Mormon friends to my awakening questions about social justice and my right to resign from the Church, The concerns I have as an agnostic. Life is not simple, I still have ups and downs, but leaving the Mormon Church was necessary to feel whole as a person. I was traumatized at having been lied to by the revisionism of LDS “history” — what a relief to not be used by them any more! Life does get better — not easier necessarily, but about feeling right within oneself, that part, got exponentially better — unbelievably so. As a Mormon you are taught to be terrified of leaving, but that is such a smokescreen. The opposite is true. The community of ex-Mormons is nothing like I expected — I didn’t know what to expect, didn’t know there was such a community — here I am with STRANGERS who have gone through the same kind of pain that I experienced, in my most isolated silence. I feel more understood than I ever did as a Mormon, this is a phenomenon, this exodus, and I have never felt more cared about by a community of people who have suffered the same anxieties. It is a phenomenon . . . mind-blowing, really!
Hello:
I am doing a small documentary project on coming out of mormonism myself and I live in Ottawa. If you are interested in sharing your story I would love to share my ideas with you and have you invovled. Please contact me if you are.
kevinmillington@gmail.com
thanks
I live in Belgium and I would love to make a video.
If you ever make it out to Boston I’d love to be in a video.
@Kate – peace, integrity, authenticity…spot on!
Would love to be in one!
I live in Washington State, but will be in Vegas in October.
I’d be interested in making a video. Although I was born and raised in Pennsylvania, I come from a long line of Mormon ancestry. (My dad’s family lived in Cardston.) I attended early-morning Seminary, served a mission, and graduated from BYU. I currently live in Las Vegas, NV.
I live in Salt Lake and would love to be in a video. Thanks for doing this for everyone!!
I live in Idaho Falls, ID. I can travel down to Utah if needed. I am from polygamist blood ~ my great-great Grandfather was John M. MacFarlane. He wrote Far, Far Away on Judea’s Plains and Dearest Children for the Mormon church’s hymn book.
I have written a paper on my leaving the church for a college class, and am trying to get it published to help others that are trying to leave.
I was born in Provo, UT and was raised in the church, married in the temple and had 5 children ‘BIC’. I ALWAYS felt AWFUL whenever I went to church and to the temple, but could not put my ‘finger on it’… until I started my own research and then risked EVERYTHING when I left. I lost my first marriage and my own family when I left the mormons.
Since then I have re-married a very loving man and have found what the true definition of love is for me. Very emanicpating as a woman!
This is the page I created a few years ago on FB. My story is on here too.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_57735027208
Thank you so much for doing this. I left the church three years ago when I graduated from BYUI and moved to NYC. It is amazing to hear the stories of others, and hear that there are so many like me who have found peace and happiness outside of the church of our upbringing.
I wish we lived in Utah! Our family would love to be in a video. We live in Alabama, in the middle of the “bible belt”. It has been a difficult journey away from the church, but we are surviving and thriving! Our children are 21 and 18 and we are all closer and happier than we’ve ever been! If you’re ever in the area, count on us!
Good luck with all the filming. Your videos have helped us so much! Thank you!
I am interested in being in a video and having my story heard. I made the choice to leave the church almost 4 years ago, and I lost my wife and children and have been completely ostracized from my entire family. I see many hopeful stories on your site, which is so great to see, but as there are stories of hope, there are also stories of tragedy and loss. I desire for hope in the future, but the chances seem improbable at best.
come back to Council Bluffs Iowa! This time your mission is to film some awesome Ex-mormons. You have met my son. I would love to unite my story with his and add our voices to the growing chorus of LDS members who have found the courage to leave the cave and enjoy life in the full light and spectrum of the sun where life is now so genuinely happy and free of the go no-where hamster wheel, concentration camp of the soul that Mormonism is.
My name is Linda Ford, and I would like to share my video with your group. Please share it on your Face Book, You Tube, Twitter and My Space accounts so that everybody can see it. Thank you!
Linda Ford
My You Tube video is available at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMSFazbdFoY.
I was the wife of a mormon Bishop. I divorced him after 17 years of marriage. The church came after me because I refused to “repent” of the lies he told regarding my lifestyle and other events surrounding the divorce. It was a black eye to them that I was working on Sunday, having a happy and successful life, and not forcing my children to go to church. I think other members were watching me and wondering why I wasn’t suffering and feeling that if I could be happy outside the church maybe they could be too; this set in motion a chain of events where protocol was set aside. I have an interesting story I would love to share.
OK Lolly. I think you have a tough life story, and I’d like to hear or read it. By the way, I don’t think your ex-husband was really that great of a guy. But your new husband pretty much rocks!
Wow, how inspiring to here everyone’s stories. It feels so good to brake free from any type of limiting belief system. I am an ex mormon, the only one in my family. I feel a connection with all of these stories, because we all share something, something you can’t really understand unless you were once a mormon.
I want to make a video but I told you that already in chat one day
Come to Santa Cruz!!!
I live in Portland, Oregon, but I have family that I frequently visit in Utah. Perhaps I could come by sometime to shoot a video? I was the stake president’s grandson and lived in his house when I discovered that I was gay and atheist. This year, I celebrated my one year anniversary to my partner. Hit me back sometime, and we’ll make it happen!
If you ever come to Chicago – let us know – would love to make a video!
I was baptized in the LDS religion at age 8 and I was “proud” of this decision…my sister, Linda was VERY much into the religion, even doing baptisms for the dead. At the age of 9, I witnessed when she was kidnapped and murdered (age 14) in Pocatello, ID in 1981. My family was told we were sinners and that was the reason she was taken from us. I was shunned throughout my childhood because I refused to go to church after this. Our own bishop and his wife at that time in Pocatello even helped stall the investigation of her abduction and subsequent murder by making false accusations and heresies regarding my family. I am now 39 years old and last year, after years of struggling with my faith, am a HAPPY and devoted father of 5, AND A CHRISTIAN. I have found salvation through Jesus Christ and I know that the LDS religion is a fallacy. I have yet to “resign” from the LDS church, mainly because I am unsure of what “proper” channels to go through…but I do consider myself an EX-MORmON!!! I would love to share my story if given the opportunity.
BIG kudos to you! It’s so refreshing to see a real-world response to the sophisticated ad campaigns of the LDS church; further proof that the internet will whittle away at such manufactured beliefs. I’m 49, was born and raised in the church and left it over 20 years ago — but the joy and relief at being free is very fresh!! I’d be happy to join your choir
I’d be interested in being in a video.
I’m a 21-year-old guy living in Rexburg, Idaho, and I came to the realization that I was an atheist about two and a half, three years ago now.
From the time that I was probably about 13, things started stacking up in the back of my mind that just didn’t make sense to me. Little things, mostly, but things that stood in the face of all the doctrine I’d been fed from birth.
Among the issues that struck a sour note with me were matters of religious meddling in human sexuality. I’m a straight guy, but I saw no reason for a loving, benevolent god to forbid anyone who wasn’t born heterosexual from achieving the beauty of a sexual relationship with someone they love, regardless of gender. I asked myself why sexuality must be so strictly defined for ANYONE? Why should God care who you sleep with, or what you do together?
I questioned the patriarchal structure of the church, and while Mormonism is hardly the world leader for religious sexism, it still struck me as unbalanced and misogynistic and old-fashioned in the worst way, and the racist undertones of certain teachings nagged at me.
When I was 18 or so, I was going through a really rough time (first breakup), and the mounting doublethink eventually cracked under its own weight in my head while I was actually sitting on my bed with a knife to my wrist. I just felt like I couldn’t handle anything anymore when I suddenly became aware that it had been many years since I actually believed in any of it, and if I ended my life then, I realized I didn’t think I was going anywhere. That led to a painful, slow transition out of belief into atheism. I couldn’t make myself believe two things at once anymore, and that made me realize I didn’t really believe in one of those things.
I have to say, it was a very difficult, painful change to make. Say what you will about faith, but when it drops out from under you, it’s easy to feel lost, and I did for a while. Coming to terms with the idea that I won’t see my father again was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. On top of that, I was already dealing with my recently failed relationship. I struggled with the fact that a huge number of the people I’d thought were my friends stopped speaking to me when I finally built up the self-confidence to admit my loss of belief to them, but when I came through that, I felt refreshed and free and relieved. Here was a world where my morality was my own, and didn’t rely on the threat of punishment. Here was a life I could live to the fullest without fear of not living up to the standards of a god that made no sense to me. Here I could look in awe at scientific discoveries without trying to justify them against a book of stories passed down over thousands of years.
One thing I was happy to lose was ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ People said that when my dad died when I was a kid, and they said it when my fiance left me, too. But it DOESN’T. The universe is random, and believe it or not, that was an incredibly comforting realization for me, haha. I didn’t lose people because some bearded fairy in the sky had a plan. There doesn’t need to be some all-encompassing purpose for all things.
I’m still living in Rexburg, and while it’s difficult to be an atheist here for a lot of reasons (quite a bit of stigma attached to atheism here, which makes dating and having a personal life borderline impossible, and it can be lonely at times, as even the friends who stuck with me are still religious), I’m making it by. I’m forming a band, writing a novel, and trying to move my life forward, and while life can still be tough, it’s all so much more manageable now.
Count me in. I tried to commit suicide at 16 and the LDS church was all I had. One day it hit that something wasn’t right about “the heavenly father”. I tried to prove to a christian that the God of Mormonism was the same God as the Bible. The hard part was facing the crisis of conscience.
I opted not to be a hypocrite and left.
After that, the shunning began….. it even hurt my children.
This happened in florida, I presently live in Texas.
I was LDS from birth.
What I never felt was ok was that you couldn’t really be friends with people outside the church. They would only end up “dragging you down into evil ways.” I don’t think that’s very christian
I live in Arizona and would love to make a video!!
Hello. I am very interested in doing one of these videos. I’m 20 years old and left the church about two years ago. It was a scary decision because the church was all i ever knew and all of my lifelong friends were mormon. I was raised in the church my whole life and my father also converted when i was two.
I would like to share my story and point of view so i can hopefully help or comfort someone in my position. I know there is that thing that they ingrain deep in you that makes you feel like your wrong for questioning, and i wan’t to give people some questions that they could ask themselves. Pascals wager used to be the main reason i stayed in church. Fear should never keep you somewhere. I live in the los angeles area so if you are ever down here shoot me an email.
I was raise in the church like everyone else, as a kid you listen to your family, you get involve and get baptize at 8 years old, like you know what you were doing. I think it is completely wrong to baptize someone against their will. Growing up as a Mormon I was force to go on a mission because I wanted to make my family proud. I did made my dad happy by serving a mission. In my mission I started to believe in the doctrine, unfortunately I could never receive an answer why black Man could not received the priesthood They said it was not the time, God did not want Black to get the priesthood, like God is a discriminatory Good, but they receive your tithing . I finish my mission and move to Utah I went to school at BYU where I felt the differences in the church. I am a black man and I am proud to be a black man. I graduate with a civil Engineering degree I am working full time; my monthly tithing is more than what I am paying for my car. Do I want to pay tithing or not? Some time you are Trappe in something you don’t know what to do. 6 years ago I married my wife in the temple. I did that because I love her not because I believe in the temple. Now I realize I made the biggest mistake in my life for married in the temple. Every day I a m wondering If I am ever going to tell her that I don’t believe in the church. I know the day I tell her, she will divorce me and I will lose my son that I love the mo, her family will hate me forever. Now I am trap going to church because I love my wife. Some time I feel like telling her, I also feel like I am not ready to face what’s coming. I don’t see myself losing my family, I feel like I need to stop lying to myself, to her, and the kids that I am currently teaching in church, I have been trying to avoid calling in the church for a long time , until recently my wife force me too. It is hard to live a life that is not me. In the house, I am someone different then what I am outside. I have not leave the church yet but I am searching for advice on how, I should handle the situation.
Please I want some advice on what I should do
I think you need to calm down. Maybe you should ask yourself, did you put yourself in this situation, or did God put you there? Maybe you just need to ride it out. It might be good for you to talk about your feelings with someone else. Then again, the best thing might be to do nothing. About the tithing, that comes out of household finances, so if your wife agrees and helps by living frugally, that is not really affecting your family.
Hello jo,
These resources may help you and your wife come to the same conclusion together:
20truths.info
zeitgeistthefilm.com
I hope this is helpful.
Hey, I’m a gay Mormon attending BYU. I came out only 6 months ago and I’m still living a double life. I want to leave BYU so bad, but unfortunately I can’t afford to go anywhere else. My parents are broke and this was the best option for me. I applied to BYU under the impression that I would be cured by the time BYU hit. I would literally say to myself “I’m going to BYU, I’m going to date some pretty girls, serve a mission, come home and be ready for marriage and be cured.” I now laugh at that pathetic statement that I believed to be so true. I am so much happier now that I’ve come out. I still have to keep it a secret cause I’m at BYU, but all my friends and family know and I’ve never been happier. There isn’t a day that goes by that I wish I had never come out. I love my life and wish to share my message with all those that are willing to listen.
I want to participate. I live in Japan. I have a HD video. Is it possible to be in?
We are an Air Force family living in Germany. Together Eric and I left the church along with our four sons when our oldest turned eight nine years ago. I had lived in a deep depression my whole adult life. I never fit in with the norm in the church. I always asked too many difficult to answer questions. I felt stifled and utterly helpless, always feeling that I was living a lie. I never thought my husband would leave. We were both raised Mormon .. He served a mission in Mexico, we were sealed in the temple. We never knew the peace that would be allowed for us in leaving. Our sons are thriving, highly intelligent teens and we love to sit around and discuss all the ways being free of Mormonism saved our marriage,, and more than likely my life. There is no one group that owns another person. I think at times we felt it was illegal to leave, or as though we weren’t allowed. We see how flawed that is now. We are so joyful in our freedom to trust our own good and have a fantastically fulfilling life free from Mormonism.
All free agency, you make the decision, you face the consequence!
Amazing! When my ex-wife said that god told her to divorce me, it was the last straw after years of confusion and guilt in the Mormon church. It was hard to stop wearing garments, stop going to church, stop believing in Mormon doctrine. I knew, however, that my happiness would increase if I were to open my eyes to the limitless possibilities of life and no longer behave as a programmed robot to carry out the prescribed orders of men who claim to talk to god. Life is amazing! I am amazed at how many high quality people I used to snobbishly avoid (though my fake pleasantries helped cover my snobbishness). I thought other people were more or less lost and would only be a negative influence. My life is exploding now with an amazing network of friends. I am an inventor, song writer, medical student, pianist, movie writer, book writer, performing musical artist, and I’m an ex-Mormon.
Hi! I´m Vicki from Spain and I would love to share my experience making an “I am an ex-mormon video. There is any posibility for the people of this country? Also I have a lot of ex mormons friends and they will be happy to know about this. Thank you.
Dear Sir/Ma’am
My name is Jonathon, and I’m interested in being in a video. Some Background information one me: I was born and raised as LDS, in Salt Lake City. I joined the Marine Corps at 18 and I was absolutely positive that the LDS church was true. One year later, I had lost my faith in the LDS Church as a whole. And I started asking questions that faith on its own couldn’t answer. And when that happened, I inadvertently opened up the flood gates of – literally – a Universe of knowledge just waiting to be explored. History, Archaeology, Physics, biology. Subjects I could explore and learn about without feeling shame, fear or guilt over the dissonance that as an active mormon I would have glazed over, or willfully ignored. I’m a veteran of the U.S. Military, I’m earning a bachelors’ degree in history, I’m an actor, active in the U of U’s SHIFT student group. Loosing my faith was actually one of the best things that happened to me.
I’m sorry and I hope one day you will be able to forgive
I am not an ex-Mormon, I am a never-Mormon. But I’ve been married for 11 years to a Mormon woman who acts like a member of the Gestapo when it comes to the LDS church. I love her but I just cannot take living in the hostile environment of being the only non-mormon in an entirely Mormon family. It has become hell for me. If you would ever be interested in hearing the perspective of someone like me, and everything I have witnessed, please feel free to contact me.
My husband and I would make a video if given the chance. We live in Southeastern Utah but are originally from Seattle Wa. Left the church together after living in Mormon land for 1 yr. Best choice we ever made. I had always struggled with the roles the church leaders force on women and men. I had been suicidal for about a yr mostly due to our life circumstances after following the churches guild my whole life. I was doing everything the church said to do. I was a straight and narrow arrow, as was my husband. We are raising an all girl family-5 daughters, which put the problems facing women in the religion right in my face. Once, I allowed myself to wonder if my daughters would be better off in a different environment that would not trap them or limit their lives as I had felt about my own life. Then one morning I woke up and said to myself ” Hey, where is my Heavenly Mother?!!!” ” Who logically should be here to comfort me just as I do my own daughters. I was taking risk asking these questions, but felt strongly that if God really loved me he would give me answers and peace. I started to search for answers. Wrote to church authorities, what a joke, and over the course of 6 months I questioned every scholarly church member I knew of, completely shocking people’s responses to me wanting answers about “forbidden, not revealed yet” questions. I got a lot of ” Just have faith” or “questioning God is a bad idea” During this same time I was attending the Temple on a weekly basis and was called as Gospel Doctrine Teacher. All of these things happening together opened a flood of problems I had put on a shelf about the church and had chosen for yrs to not explore due to fear, guilt, shame and flat out loyalty to my upbringing. While digging deep to get answers to heal my hurt inside, I discovered something completely unexpected and shocking-the church was not actually true! I went through the same kinds of feelings and motions most of the people in these videos have gone through. Truly life changing, tough but the outcome brought much happiness. Every day gets better. Contact me for a full account and details. I would love to share, especially for all the women who have felt trapped in a culture run by men AND women, but the men get all the credit and power.
la verdad que no entiendo como despues de conocer la verdad reniegan de ella. van a quemarse y me pone triste por ustedes. un abrazo desde argentina
I live in Kansas City, MO and would love to do a video.
I wanted to say that I left the Utah~LDS (Mormon) church too,however I still believe that the bible AND book of mormon is true.For me my husband and I left because he still had a problem with the elders when they bothered him on his smoking (though he was trying to quit) We are now with the TempleLot church of Christ and very happy. For me instead of givnig up the book of mormon and Joseph Smtih I went to God on this and he showed me this was true, but the Utah~LDS aka Mormon church was not true. Sorry but I take Gods word over mans opinion on what is right or wrong. He showed me he chose Joseph Smith for a reason,but after his death everything went wrong and pride set in in some branches.Anyhow thankyou for sharing the videos. Don’t delete my comnent because I’m nto with the mainstream churches (been a baptist for over 8yrs) but I thin kpeople should do as God says & if for them that’s leaving totally not believing in the book of mormon besides leaving the LDS church ,then that’s between them and God. I’m Candcie and I’m an ex’ LDS member since 2006.
Please watch my video and leave a message at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMSFazbdFoY. This was my experience when I had become stranded in Salt Lake City.
You are providing a tremendous service to the people in revealing how the crooks on Wall St. operate in cooperatio-n with there implants in the Treasury Dept. with the help of the Justice Dept.GW2 Gold
Hey,
I really appreciate the cause of this website, and I think it’s great that people are sharing their stories. I think the ex-mormon cause would make more of an impact if someone took a more positive approach when recording their video. At least for me I would respond better to this type of approach rather than hearing people’s negative stories. For example, if someone did a video the way the “i am a mormon” side approaches by show casing their acomplishments and personal hobbies and then ended with “I am a painter, a dancer, a parent, a teacher, etc…. And I’m an Ex-mormon.” Boom that would really get me inspired!
I would love to make a video. I am an ex mormon. I had my records removed a year ago. I was a born member and tried so hard to keep up, but my heart always questioned what I was being taught (programmed) to believe. Anytime I would ask questions, to my bishop, church leaders, missionaries etc, I was told to read my scripters and pray, to have faith and wait for that “feeling” or that I was not mature enough in the gospel to know those answers. I tried for 32 years. I learned the “feelings” I had been wanting to feel were there all along. Inside me the whole time. Once I listened, (to my heart) I was able to let go, and I have never been more at peace. I don’t feel guilt or shame and I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I feel alive and I love my life. It’s so awesome to watch these videos and hear the stories of other ex mormons. I relate and it’s nice to know I’m not alone. It was a healing process as I left. Getting support from people who understand and who have been through the same thing is important. There are many emotions. Good luck to all!
I admire what you are doing here. I see this as a very positive campaign.
I was “born under the covenant”. I’m the youngest of eleven. I was seminary President, my mother was the seminary teacher. My dad was the Scout Master. I was one of the ones who never doubted. On my mission to Montana I was senior trainer twice and zone leader. I first began to doubt the last couple months of my mission because I was finding contradictions between the books scripture that I was unable to sort out. Neither could any of the priesthood leaders that I approached, although they all had the ability to easily brush the contradictions aside.
I continued to “fake it till you make” but stopped attending church soon after my homecoming.
It was devastating because my relationship with the church and god was almost like a marriage. Also I was convinced this would forever change my relationship with my family and church friends. I felt very depressed and alone.
I requested that my name be removed from church membership records. The church resisted and required that I have a final in-person meeting with a church leader. They finally gave in when I threatened to sue, because I have the right to end my membership.
At first I still believed in the restoration of the church through Joseph Smith, I concluded that there must have been a second apostasy because I felt the LDS church was no longer god’s “one true church”. Later I self-identified as non-denominational Christian. This was a time to re-evaluate my entire belief system. The place I landed is what they call Humanism.
It took a lot of strength to leave. It was a struggle. But I now feel that my life is much more genuine, and that “free agency” is something I never really had while I was a Mormon. While my family still lives inside the Mormon bubble, I realize now that they will always have non-Mormon friends, and they are still fully equipped to love me.
I am a circus musician touring the US eleven months per year. This year we will be performing throughout California. We come through SLC in September. I am also an ‘out’ singer/songwriter. It took two years for me to come out to myself after I rejected the church.
http://www.Ryan-States.com/
http://www.facebook.com/RyanStatesMusic
Hello, I live in the South Pacific. This is my story:
I grew up mormon, and spent my high school years in a 90% mormon-community so most of my friends and family are in the LDS church and are some of the loveliest people I know.
I don’t doubt the fact that I have witnessed miracles big and small throughout my life.
As I grew older and my circle of friends expanded, I grew to question some of the churches’ principles. I began to wonder, ‘Why is there so much backtracking and speculation around Joseph Smith?’, ‘How could an organisation dictate who I can and can’t fall in love with? ‘, ‘Why should my gay friends be made to deny themselves of their identities and suppress all that make them who they are?’.
I spent years coming in and out of activity, fighting with myself over what I believed in. In the end, I was given a choice by my bishop: a clean slate and a chance to start over in the church, or the man I love.
That was it for me. No person, organization, religion or otherwise should ever give ultimatums. Who is anyone to tell you who you can and cannot love?
Although I still believe in god, and many mormon teachings, how could I be proud of my religious heritage when it’s shrouded in mystery, speculation and excuses?
All in all, I don’t think I could ever go back to having everything I do and am constantly under inspection.
QUE TRISTEZA ..CAMBIAR LA FE QUE MUCHOS TUVIERON POR LAS COSAS VANAS DE ESTE MUNDO ACTUALSE QUE ES DIFICIL PARA LOS JOVENES LLEVAR UNA VIDA DIGNA EN LA SOCIEDAD EN QUE VIVIMOS.TAMBIEN SE QUE LA FE ES UN DON DE DIOS;Y CUANDO DIGO TRISTEZA;ES CUANDO LLEGAN A DESTRUIR SUS FAMILIAS POR EL EGOISMO PROPIO PARA VIVIR LA LIBERTAD ?.ACTUALMENTE TENGO UN HIJO EN LA MISION LA PAZ BOLIVIA HACIENDO CONOCER EL EVANGELIO Y ES FELIZZZZZZZ.HE TENIDO MILES DE PRUEBAS QUE SI NO FUESE POR NUESTRA FE NO SE COMO LO HUBIESE SOPORTADO.SE QUE MUCHOS DE LOS EX SON JOVENES CRIADOS EN UNA CAJITA DE CRISTAL Y DESEAN OTRAS EXPERIENCIAS LA VERDAD NO SE PIERDEN NADA .TAMBIEN ME DOY CUENTA OTRAS CREENCIAS COMO LA EVANGELICA ESTA LLENA DE MIEMBROS;ES FACIL ESCUCHO LINDAS PALABRAS Y LISTO POR ESO HAY UNA RAZON PARA EXMORMONES EL EVANGELIO SE DEBE PONER EN PRACTICA COMO DIJO UNA PERSONA DE COLOR EL DIEZMO ERA MAYOR QUE SU CUOTA DEL COCHE CON ESA FE LA IGLESIA NO LO NECESITA;RECUERDAN CUANDO UNA PERSONA DIJO YO TENGO FE Y JESUS DIJO YO TE MOSTRARE MIS OBRAS?DEJO MI AMOR POR TODOS USTEDES Y REGRESEN COMO EL HIJO PRODIGO
Estela…
You think we have left the Church to live an unworthy life?
In my case, I am not having sex with strangers… neither trying to hook up every weekend… I do hope I can find the right person for me some day.
I don’t smoke, I don’t drink… just coffee once in a while… but although it may be hard to believe, I personally don’t need you to believe me.
I help people… I love my neighbors… I pray to the Creator when I feel it… and YOU think I left Church to live a different type of life? I think you are breaking the commandment of not judging others… and also with the fact of assuming we are doing all type of stuff you are not being Christ-like… by the way… if you are free of sins… you through the first rock then…
That is all by now.
U have a good day.
I want to do a video! My dad was a bishop, my mom- my seminary teacher. I left the church as an adult, my sisters left, and my parents followed shortly after. I’m now a competitive belly dancer/henna artist/pastry chef/wife of a veteran/mom of two girls and happier than ever! I live in AZ.
Im wondering , Ok I understand why people leave the Church . I think if your life is happy after leaving the church then so be it.You can experience it with in and out. ALot of the Stories I watched seemed like someone had hurt there family which would be right to say people hurt people and sometimes say hurtful things.People judge.etc
That’s life if there Mormon ,Hindu ,christian etc.
I guess if it makes your feel better to record yourself telling your story .I am not to judge.
I just wonder what are the true intentions of this site ? and what are the true intentions of
making a video about your self leaving the church ? to release hate , anger, frustration or blame the organization for a choice we all independently have ? I wonder who or what organization is behind this site?
Well I love You all My Brothers and Sisters.May you experience Joy.
from one of the mormon brothers.
I’m almost 25 years old, and I just recently sent in my resignation letter to the LDS Church. Born and raised in Cache Valley, Utah, lived there for 24 years, and I kept myself in denial about my sexuality until I was 16, and I knew when I was 5 years old (I just didn’t understand it yet).
I tried being the best Mormon I could be because my parents raised me to fear God, but if God exists, would he really want us to continue torturing ourselves like this? How could something so natural be a sin? If I’m so sinful and I’m going to be sent to hell, then wow, they better at least have some bomb drag shows down there…
You got a very excellent website, Gladiola I observed it through AOL.
I am super good friends with a lady who is about 85 who recently left the church. If you are interested in talking to her it’s a very interesting story. Shirley from Logan UT. She called me last year because she heard I left and told me “ME TOO!”
http://youtu.be/GZdSJLcU5E8
I just made mine tonight on my handheld Iphone
Congrats for this website!!!!! This is an excelent project. I’m an ex mormon from Uruguay, I’ve resigned to the Church after a long battle!!!!!!!!! I served a mission, I was a Temple Worker and I left the Church because I am gay. I am a very happy person, my partner and I have 6 years living together and it’s our most beautiful adventure! WE ARE A FAMILY… and If families are forever… surely I’ll be with him.
Hola Fabio!
Que linda tu frase… “we are a family…”
Yo tambien soy gay, fui excomulgado hace casi ya 10 años… and i feel it was for good.
Me gustaria hacer amistad contigo… de verdad me gustaria!
I am in my late 20′s and Mormonism was the center of my life. My parents are converts and I grew up in a great Mormon household with high ethics. I never lived near large Mormon communities so I was one of the few Mormons that everyone knew . It intrigued lots of people as I was well known in my communities.
Since I was a deacon I was always called into a leadership positions. I faithfully served a mission and was a solid preaching machine. I was considered very knowledgeable and was a leading missionary in my mission.
After the mission I was called to teach various classes in my singles ward in the bible belt. I was aware of many inconsistencies and conflicting accounts. I always felt slightly baffled but I had this false sense of security where I’d say, “they were still the prophet so it’s ok”… But in the back of my mind I did not feel at peace with it.
As I learned more I made and effort to be unbiased and just accept fact and truth for what it is. I began to see how people didn’t like my knowledge of church history and doctrine, and they would call it blasphemous. I began to really see how people would try to manipulate me with what was now mainstream church ideology even though I knew that their version lacked much accuracy.
I was married in the temple and realized how that relationship was completely based of Mormon ideological manipulation. I was so depressed in that relationship and during that era of my life I became antagonized for researching non mainstream church history. I finally accepted the fact that the church hide information and punished intellectuals for really trying to promote church transparency.
I felt so free and at peace when that fake relationship came to an end. With my knowledge of the church and my experience of theological manipulation I now knew that the church was not what it claimed and my life as a Mormon wasn’t based on reality. I still attend here and there to inform the un informed members of the truth and network with good people or see what outward community service initiatives I can serve in.
I am thankful for being Mormon it instilled integrity and perseverance in my. I can not nor will erase it. I am even more thankful for accepting reality and not living a life of informational denial. I retain nearly all my LDS values and have built upon them. With an open mind I appreciate things how they really are. I recognize how my past bias and discrimination were guised under conservatism and “principal”.
I am the best I have ever been. I feel encouraged to judge less, to be extremely tolerant and moderate. I have a larger desire to serve, be more generous, and most importantly, to love people for being their true selves. I am Will and I am an Ex Mormon.
I joined the Church at age 15.. along with some of my family members. I had a good feeling and desire towards the Church and the gospel… I even used to go and split with the missionaries almost every day after school, and on Sundays, to preach the gospel… This also helped me stay away from home… where my stepfather used to molest me… thing that he was doing since I was 8.
My “mother” knew about what that guy was doing to me, but she really didn’t care… when I had enough courage to talk to her about this problem, she just said it was my own problem, not hers… and for me to solve it on my own. Suicide did cross my head a couple of times.
Once I grew more confidence towards the Church leaders, I told them… but I didn’t see much reaction either. One of the bishops, when seeing I spent lots of time with the missionaries, did keep telling me I had to stay longer time with my family… cause families are forever… well, guess what! I don’t want to stay with that family!!! I just would stay once in a while at the missionaries place (yeahhh… some missionares break the rules.. I am sure you know that!)… or I would just stay with school friends as well.
I also had the hope that my homosexual feelings would go away. I prayed so much, so many times… with all my heart… I even fasted with some of my closest friends. At age 18 the burden was too heavey… I confessed, and I had not kept the law of chastity… and I was excommunicated… and that is why my journey really started.
After these almost 10 years outside the Church, I have learned that the Church, although it has good things, did not complete me, but reduced the person I really was in the inside. Being so ashamed of myself stopped me from looking for that love I really needed… but once I was out of there, I did have the chance to meet good people… among them my very best friend… and also one of my ex’s, who was become also one of the closest persons to me… This last one is someone who has a hug for me any time, or a smile.. someone who I know sees me as a good person, as someone worthy to get to know. These 2 people are gay as well, but have behaved better than all my family members all together. How can they be all wrong with their love has made me feel happy, loved and complete? (And no, I am not talking about sex at all!!!)
Now I live in the Middle East, and I have learned by living with other people with other beliefs that the most important thing for your own being, is actually being your own you… too much religion does not help in this society. And although living here in ME still stops me from being me 100%, (I do find my ways and days to be me anyways)… I do remember this was the feeling while inside the Church, and it depresses me when I think about it.
I know I am a good person, I don’t harm anybody, and I treat everybody the best I possibly can… I know that, and my friends always tell me that. For those who still believe in a perfect God… Would a perfect God make a mistake by putting this same gender feelings in me? I don’t think so. Not only that… even when I am gay… I have seen so many miracles in my life… which has made me believe… He still loves me, even when I am gay… and THAT is all I care about… Seems like I am good enough to deserve good things from life.
I know I am a good person, I love myself, I love what I am, I love what I do… I love the people I have met in these 10 years.
Even if I am being sent to “hell” with them… I will be happy to share it with my so loved gay friends, or with my non gay nor christian friends, who have made of this world, a better one for me.
I am Moises, I am gay, and I am an ex-mormon…
My older brother (26) and I (22) would like to support this cause. My brother graduated from BYU the same year I was asked to Leave when the school found out I was gay. We both have since left the church. My brother now lives in New York, primarily working in nutritional health PR, and I will be graduating from Berkeley this spring and will be heading to Boston to pursue a future in medicine.
When we left the church we both felt we had something to prove. We felt we had to show our friends and family that even though we had left the faith we were still good, compassionate people who still sought to make the world a better place.
In retrospect we didn’t have to prove anything. Leaving Mormonism opened our eyes to many things we had never even noticed or considered. Our compassion and eagerness for positive change has only but increased. Life is good for an ex Mormon.
I have much in common with all of you. Not ex-mormon but ex-Jehovah’s witness. It’s probably a lot alike leaving either. The most important question is not where you were, though, but where you are and where you are going. Have you been born again the Bible way. The Truth shall set you free.
I have much in common with all of you. Not ex-mormon but ex-Jehovah’s witness. It’s probably a lot alike leaving either cult. The most important question is not where you were, though, but where you are and where you are going. Have you been born again the Bible way? The Truth shall set you free.
I simply wanted to appreciate you all over again. I am not sure the things that I could possibly have used in the absence of the entire hints provided by you regarding such a situation. It truly was a troublesome condition in my opinion, nevertheless finding out a expert mode you handled that forced me to jump over gladness. Extremely happy for this information and then sincerely hope you realize what a great job you have been accomplishing teaching others with the aid of a site. Most likely you haven’t got to know all of us.
Thanks for doing this. I think it’s important that ex-members realize they’re not alone. The absurdity of religious dogma can profoundly and often negatively affect people and those effects can last a long time. I hope your work serves as a source of transition and healing.
Bravo!
Mo
Mormons are gay. Real talk *CLAP* *CLAP*, i heard this girl say her ex husband and her dad were gay. That sucks, he got pound and got aids in his booty hole, imma be real with yall fake ass beyatchs, youll gay, i wouldnt be mormon for money you are smelly funny and are stupid silly jerk faces, hope you like aids. FART SMELLERS.
I just put in my resignation letter two weeks ago. I am originally from Malaysia and currently a PhD student at Florida State University. I am proud of your courage to do what all of you do. I love you. We are a new minority, yet a great one too.
@Justin Beaver
You have no idea what most of us went through. Most of us are not gay, nor most of us are converts to mormon church by choice. Most of us were born into the faith and wants to get out. Please dont associate everyone single one of us to the outliers.
My name is Mrs Rymek, and i live in canada.I have been through hell and pain,When my husband turned against our marriage,and sent me away,and said that he never wanted to see me again,because he was having an affair outside with another woman.I was finally confused,and so many thoughts came to my mind,when a friend finally advice me to go and visit a spell caster.And as i was searching for a spell caster to help, until i found the real and great spell caster templeofsolution@yahoo.com who helped me,and solved all my problems concerning my husband who left me since six months.and after that a friend also complained of her husband too,So i linked her up with the same spell caster who helped me too,and the problem was also solved by the same spell caster templeofsolution@yahoo.com . Whao!! the real and great spell caster is here,all you need to do now is to contact this same address whenever you are in any problem related to spell casting.It took me a very long period of time,before i could get this real and great spell caster.So right now Dr. Zuma is here,and the best for you to solve your problems that is bothering your mind..
Finally,thanks to templeofsolution@yahoo.com for bringing joy to my family…
Long live Dr. Zuma
Thanks…..
I live in Santa Rosa Ca., left the Mormon Faith, went through a Divorce, and am joyful in life. I feel unique, empowered, and grateful for my life outside of the Dogma. I live in Wine Country, work as a Licensed Massage Therapist at The Fairmont in Sonoma.
Sincerely
Bryan
What a beautiful and wonderful testimony some time things you don’t believe can just happen.
My name is Mrs Leisha from U.S.A am 25 years old i got married at the age of 23 i have only one child and i was living happily .After one year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don’t really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dream’s of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail i cry and i cry seeking for help i discussed it with my best friend and she promise to help me he told me of a man called I CAN DO he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot do that is why they call him I CAN DO. I contacted his email address at (ICANDOSHRINETEMLE@GMAIL.COM) And i told him everything that happen all he told me is that i should not worry that all my problems will be solved immediately. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after 3days my husband will come back to me and start begging, it really happen i was very surprise and very, very happy our relationship was now very tight and we both live happily again.
So my advice for you now is to contact this same email address (ICANDOSHRINETEMPLE@GMAIL.COM) if you are in any kind of situation concerning love issues and any other things that give you problems.
THANKS..
I would love to be in a video. I come from a very different perspective than most people, as I was not brought up in the church, but rather joined on my own when I was in my senior year of high school. I ended up leaving about 6 months later after lots of research and lots of endoctrination that they were attempting to do to me that I was unwilling to accept. I kept getting the answer about how they had to build upon smaller things that the missionaries had taught me. I ended up leaving and I felt like I lost a huge part of my life. I was very depressed when I joined the church and I had no friends, so joining the church was like gaining a family. I feel that my story could be beneficial to a different sort of audience, as I’ve not heard many stories like mine here. I live in the Lansing area of Michigan and would be willing to travel to set something up. Thank you!
I left the church 45 years ago. I really was never in. Our family was, and is, deep in it. My Great Great Grandfather was converted in about 1850, and when his friend, Brigham Young took over, he became the church architect. But it was never for me. I felt the church was demonstrably false, and just could not, and had no interest it trying to, get past that. But my brother went along, just because that’s what people do. Born a Mormon, be a Mormon. But several years ago he was diagnosed with cancer. And a huge wave of resentment boiled over. He felt he had lived his whole life for others, not to help those others in any way, but just to avoid conflict. What a thing to have on your headstone, I went along. He is still struggling to find himself, a bucket list is right out because in would involve time travel, and so he is just angry. This is not as simple as the videos seen here, way more complex to say now what? How do I get my life back when it’s over? There is a real dark side to this “coming out”, and you need to look at that too.
I meant to say 1840,
my testimony goes to DR stone spell temple,me and my ex breakup 5 months ago and she told me that she dont love me any more and went to be with another guy.i was still in love with her and need her back i try to get her back but all my effort was in vail until i reach out to the internet for help and i saw a testimony of a spell caster,i decided to give it a tryand i contacted him and tell him my problem.He cast a love spell for me and guarantee me of three days that my ex will come back to me and to my greatest suprise my ex come back to me and beg for forgiveness and promise never to live me again,i am so happy my ex is back to me again,thank you ultimate spell for reuniting me and my ex back together again.if you need him to help you Email shamuspiritualtemple@gamil.com
So how’s the weekly video thing working out for you guys? Looks like you’ve really been pumping em out. Keep up all the good work you’re doing.
I was born into the church and baptized at age 8. By 12 or 13 I figured out the Church was BS. My parents forced me to go until the day I left home, at 17. Never looked back and have been much happier since. Anyone can escape this cult!
wow this is such an incredible site! I loved the video of the blonde who lost her father to AIDs.
Have you considered a dating site for exmormons? I can’t find one for the life of me.
I am return missionay (RM) who left the church after 5 years of intense study. Since then I have not been involved with the church much at all – religion is a non-issue for me. But then I met this girl about two weeks ago. She was former mormon, also an RM, and I was amazed at how much we had in common, and how important mormon heritage is to me. How so much of who I am fundamentally is still mormon, even though I no longer believe the tenants of mormonism at all.
I want to be in this. I changed my mind. Here’s my audition.
http://youtu.be/JPmowMGU5R4
alexdombroff@alexanderdombroff.com
I often shoot video for a female Vlogger who should be in this series… She talks about her exit in her vlog soulsearchinggirl.com. here’s one of them http://soulsearchinggirl.com/2013/01/you-can-leave-the-church/
Im a Mormon and love you all. Im sorry you guys spend all your time bashing my faith. I hold no ill will towards you folks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glRAN_8CkvQ
No one is bashing. People are following convictions and questioning their belief systems to see if that belief system is real and can be justified.
Everyone should question everything after all has been questioned free of bias, then try to rebuild that foundation of reality. There is nothing to loose and everything to gain.
I live in the South Salt Lake/Murray area. I’d love to be part of this!
Hello
I am from the Ex-JW community. My colleagues and I are setting up a new association called “The Association of Anti-Watchtower Activists.” Our website (under construction) is http://www.jwactivists.com.
We absolutely love your videos and we would like to make similar videos for Ex-JWs. We also feel it would be beneficial to establish a dialogue with your community so that we can work together to share knowledge and achieve common goals.
If someone could send me an introductory email so that we can exchange information, I would very much appreciate it.
Warm regards,
John Cedars
President of AAWA
I bunk with Warren Jeffs in prison. I don’t like him at all. I have left the church and would like to be in a video.
I am so very grateful for the efforts of these websites. Thank “god” for the internet. Really. It brings to light so much of what i feared to research. I too was raised LDS, went on a mission and married in Temple. But always had issues but yet believed. It was only after people I thought were close to me, who manipulated my believes through their visions of Jesus, did I decide to leave. How can people who do the things that make them great Mormons, such as church, FHE, Temples, blah blah, still make such horrid people and Christians? The spirit is supposed to influence those people I thought. Yet the spirt confirms lies because of self delusion. It is hard to leave something so important as the church has been yet liberating. I encourage all to open their eyes.
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My name is Liz, and I used to be Mormon. I was raised primarily in Utah, and southern Idaho. I have always felt as though I knew it was all ridiculous. I can remember always knowing everything, and studying my books, and yet always still feeling like it was just an elaborate fairy tale. The thing that always plagued my mind was- why is this one true, yet all the other ones who believe nearly the same things are false? Around the age of eleven even, I remember feeling such significant feelings of doubt, pity, and perhaps even a mild loathing for church, that as soo. As sacrament meeting ended I would hide in the coat closets to avoid having to sit in a room of my peers and play along with the lies of the gospel.
always felt terrible and far removed from my devout LDS friends. When it was apparent to my peers that I (unbeknownst by my parents) was never present at church activities, or classes they actually became “suspicious,” of me, and my quiet, reserved nature, and deemed me an “evil lesbian.” Name calling and general middle school/high school harassment ensued, but I was always able to overcome it. That is, up until they gagged and duct taped me to the back seat of the school bus and verbally harassed me for a few minutes, before paying a boy five dollars to touch me inappropriately in order to “fix me.”
When I was fourteen, I finally told my parents that I did not believe in the LDS church they were extremely upset. They cried, and yelled, and inquired what else I could possibly think was true over THEIR church. Where had they gone wrong? My mother ignored me for weeks because now, it was my fault that we would never be a family, and that when she died, her first daughter would be lost to her.
After that, until I was seventeen I just kept my mouth shut on any and all religious, political, or social issues. I became secluded, and ignored all other people, and eventually my mother pulled me out of the high school because she was afraid non-Mormons and my teachers were the ones ruining my life.
When I was seventeen, they essentially kicked me out. I started living with a few older friends, and my parents forbade me from having any communication with my younger siblings. I missed two years of their lives. My youngest brother, who had been three when I left, literally did not remember who I was.
In effort to please my parents I latched on to the first guy I found and claimed I had found the error of my ways, and that I was getting married in a few months time. Finally, they talked to me again, and let me back into their lives. I was miserable, and experimented with stolen prescription pills, secretly, while making wedding plans. My fiance raped me a week before the wedding, and I called everything off four days before it was supposed to happen.
My parents have somehow managed to deal with my disbelief, and we’re on good terms again, because I think they saw my suffering and realized my safety was more important than making sure their other kids weren’t exposed to me.
Unfortunately my parents have failed to realize that i was not the problem. My younger sister is pregnant, and experimented with partying all through high school, and is now married to someone who I know she does not love, but that she was in the same situation as I was, and didn’t want my parents to be upset with her. My next younger brother has severe tendencies towards violence, with himself and others, and claims he just wants to die after he goes on his mission. The next brother keeps getting in trouble with the police, and school for drugs/girls/et cetera. My parents still have two more children after him, that I worry for, but are still in elementary school.
I’m not even twenty one yet, you can see how this has all happened extremely recently, and sadly, kind of all at once. I hope my parents can realize how bad their blind faith is for our family before it’s too late for my two youngest siblings. My sister and I both never finished highschool, because my mother withdrew her from it as well, and she has a third drop out on the way, because he is too depressed and lonely to care about anything than pretending to carry on his faith foe the sake of my parents.
So here I am. My name is Liz, and I’m a recovering ex-Mormon in Central Utah.
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who ever is reading this testimony today should please celebrate with me and my family because it all started like a joke to some people and others said it was impossible. my name is michael i live in chicago i am happily married with two kids and a lovely wife something terrible happen to my family along the line, i lost my job and my wife packed out of my house because i was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular time. i manage all through five years, no wife to support me to take care of the children and there come a faithful day that i will never forget in my life i met an old friend who i explain all my difficulties to, and he took me to a spell caster and and the name of the temple is called, okundonorgreatspell, i was assure that everything will be fine and my wife will come back to me after the wonderful work of okundonorgreatspell, my wife came back to me and today i am one of the richest man in my country. i advice you if you have any problem email him with this email: okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com and you will have the best result. take things for granted and it will be take from you. i wish you all the best.